Fight for it

And don’t ever let anyone tell you that love is a feeling.

It’s not. 

When you are confronted with something stunning, you have a choice. 

You can look at it once. Maybe twice. You can appreciate it. Feel the shine in the pit of your stomach as it hits you. 

But you won’t make it yours that way. 

If you want to keep love, I’ll tell you what you do.

You take that shine and you run with it.

Lace up those boots, boy. 

Run with it. 

The mud will pull at your feet, your lungs will burn. But you hold on to it, you hear? Pay for it with your sweat. Fuel it with your blood. 

As you earn it, your heart will grow heavy and light. Your soul will fill. Choose it. Every day, wake up and choose it fiercely.

Never look away. 

Ask

No cover 

Open sky 

Millions of worlds trying their best to shine down

Their lights are further, maybe.

But they are brighter, all the same.

The air is thick as she learns what it’s like to lean in to him. 

She is a caution sign, he’ll read it 

and politely acknowledge the suggestion. 

He is warm

Like mist blankets over lakes on hidden mornings.

A contrast and a quiet.

She understands what she doesn’t know.

No cover

But here is now. 

He taught her to ask. 

The wild

The restless

Know only one heart

Forward and never back 

Safety is discomfort

They have to go 

The reckless 

Are who they become when maddened 

Feeling red blur heat and haze 

The defenders 

Must come home

They crave the wild until they become it

But even the wilderness 

Needs the quiet of the burning stars

Not an addict

I’ll never forget 

Waiting outside your apartment 

Your five minutes are thirty

Wondering if I was too late 

You couldn’t stop talking 

Everything poured out 

I hoped it would leave you empty

But there was no peace 

You had something to prove I guess

See

How broken

See

How could you love me 

            (how could I not)

The shame came up 

The truth of who you had been

But I wanted to tell you 

That man is a stranger now 

Just like this man 

I was so scared

My God

Have you ever been so broken 

To be on your ex lover’s couch at 5am

Out of your mind 

Flirting with death

And then puking in your angel’s toilet 

I will

Never

Forget

Holding your shaking body

Trying to get you to eat something 

Finally getting you to bed

You climbed in first but stayed 

close to the edge 

You knew that was my side

It knocked the wind right out of me

When you reached over 

And you clung 

Like I was your last hope

And it hurt

God did it hurt

But I wanted that pain 

I would still take it for you 

You were there again in that moment

I hoped you’d stay 

I woke you up in the morning 

And I still recognized you 

Though you didn’t have as much to say 

I held you again 

In the shower 

You sat down 

Put your head in your hands 

And cried 

I did too

For everything you are 

But can’t be 

For him: I know you

I miss you more than anything, 

I hate that we’re apart.

I promise you you’re not alone, 

For you still have my heart.

Keep it close and warm with yours,

I don’t need it yet.

I’ve learned to live without it

Since the day that we first met.

One day soon I’ll see you, 

We’ll be close and whole once more.

Every smile, moment, memory 

Is something I adore.

The first last time

"No matter what, I'll always adore you."

Always.

While your face is bent.

Cracked screen is your focus.

"And you'll always be perfect." 

Always. 

Bones bare, heart splayed out. 

Eyes have changed. 

Seen things they hoped they wouldn't. 

I can't be perfect anymore. 

But I believed you in that moment. 

Forgive me my weakness

I was a pillar. And I held. 

You wanted strength 

to match. 

Your own

desire was for more. 

Desire does not build walls;

only lays

foundations. 

Bare.